Before I Let You Go - by Kelly Rimmer

Title: Before I Let You Go
Author: Kelly Rimmer
Published: 27 Feb 2018
Series: -
Rating: 5 stars
Synopsis: 
The 2:00 a.m. call is the first time Lexie Vidler has heard her sister’s voice in years. Annie is a drug addict, a thief, a liar—and in trouble, again. Lexie has always bailed Annie out, given her money, a place to sleep, sent her to every kind of rehab. But this time, she’s not just strung out—she’s pregnant and in premature labor. If she goes to the hospital, she’ll lose custody of her baby—maybe even go to prison. But the alternative is unthinkable.
As weeks unfold, Lexie finds herself caring for her fragile newborn niece while her carefully ordered life is collapsing around her. She’s in danger of losing her job, and her fiancé only has so much patience for Annie’s drama. In court-ordered rehab, Annie attempts to halt her downward spiral by confronting long-buried secrets from the sisters’ childhood, ghosts that Lexie doesn’t want to face. But will the journey heal Annie, or lead her down a darker path?

Trigger Warning: non-consent, drugs, cult

I received this book as an ebook from NetGalley in return for an honest review.

I didn't think that I was going to cry with this one, but indeed I did.

This is a story about two sisters who go from being best of friends, to barely speaking. A story about familial love, no matter what stands between them.  A story about someone who would do anything to save her sister's life.

Forgive me, Annie. I love you.

Before I Let You Go is told from two points of view - Dr. Alexis Vidler, and the journal of Annie Vidler as she goes through drug rehabilitation.

I was mainly annoyed at their mother for nine times out of ten not realising when her daughters were hurting. Especially her youngest, Annie. Personally, I think that their mother should have realised that Annie wasn't coping in Robert's house and tried to help her. I may not have children, but I'd like to think that that is what I'd do for my child in that scenario.

How hard would those three little words have been to squeeze into our last conversation? Love you, Annie.

This book makes you realise that although this is a fiction book, things like this do happen every day in reality. What I also took from this book, is that there isn't any switch that you flip to suddenly make you an addict - you can fight it and you can also not realising it's happening, but drug addiction is a slow process.

I see myself through her eyes - and as I read about those early years in the community, I'm no longer the sister who failed her, but the sister who saved her.

Spoilers!

When Annie began talking about Robert, I called it that the non-consent was probably going to happen.

I may have called it, but it doesn't make it any less painful to read or the tears about it any less real.

End Spoilers!